BENEFITS OF EQUIPPING THEM.

Uncle T.S has been Sharon's lesson teacher for over 4 years, so, Sharon's mother didn't think there was any problem leaving her with him to get some few things from the mall.

She'd told them she'd soon return and allowed the class continue, rather than end it abruptly. And in any case, it was the first time she was leaving Sharon at home with her teacher.

Uncle T.S had always secretly sought an opportunity to be alone with Sharon and for him, this was a dream come true.

As soon as the mum's car was out of the compound, Uncle T.S told Sharon he wanted to teach her a game. Blowing the trumpet, he called the game. Curious, 7 year old Sharon said she was interested to learn.

Glad that she'd indicated interest, he reassured her it was a very interesting game that she will enjoy. So, he quickly pulled down his zipper, to reveal an erect genital and asked her to blow it.

Shocked, but calm, Sharon told him to zip up and cover his private part, because his private part was private to him and she wasn't interested in seeing or touching it, not to talk of blowing it!

T.S was shocked that as young as she was, she was already equipped to prevent being sexually abused. Ashamed, he apologized to her and pleaded she didn't report to her mom or anyone.

Sharon agreed, especially as she thought he could harm her if she didn't agree to his request. 

Not long after,  her Mom returned and even got some snacks and drinks for Uncle T.S. As she handed them to him and made to go inside, Sharon called her attention. 

She told her there was a game Uncle T.S tried teaching her when she was away, and invited her to join her to learn it, as she asked Uncle T.S to teach her.

T.S was embarrassed and ashamed of himself as he started stammering. Sharon then told her mom all that happened in her absence.

The Mom gave a loud cry that attracted her neighbours and before one knew what was happening, T.S was slapped here and there and taken to the Police Station.

We are better for it when we equip our children with age-appropriate Sex Education. You'd be a very interesting parent or educator if the children under your care do not know anything about Sex Education in times like this.
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The Right Schools For Your Loved Ones

Hi folks, 

As part of our initiative for great academic and moral upbringing of the Nigeria /African child we will be providing info on various schools and initiatives aimed at giving parents and guardians leverage on key decisions we will be making concerning school, environment and safety of our children

First school to kick start this move is "Thames Valley College".

Hope you find it enlightening. 

Warm Regards..

Eseoghene Adeniji...B.sc, M.sc (UI)

INTRODUCING THAMES VALLEY COLLEGE:

Thames Valley College prides itself as the unique face of secondary education in Nigeria. We are a purpose-built co-educational international school with full boarding facilities, offering Nigerian and British Curricular.

Located in a serene and aristocratic environment, we boast world-class facilities that are second to none; well-equipped Science Laboratories and special rooms for Basic Technology Workshop, Art Studio, Music Room, Home Economics Room, an international standard multipurpose Sport Complex, a half Olympic size and Baby Swimming Pools and a Gym.

Learning here takes place in many shapes and forms. Our seasoned and experienced teachers are fully aided to cater for the learning needs of the 21st century child, ensuring learning takes place with the aid of the interactive whiteboard in all the classrooms. Our students are given the freedom to participate fully in Sports Drama, in Leadership activities, Vocational Education and also in Quiz, Debate and Public Speaking.

Premised on "Others May Choose the 'A' Students; We Choose to Produce Them." We individualize learning, beaming our attention on the learning style of each child. Our academic reform strategies, such as Team Teaching, Progress classes, Writing Clinic, Mentor-Men-tee Sessions, ensures every child receives maximum learning attention.

We have carved a niche with our Seven Success Life Skills; an encompassing experience in Critical Thinking and Problem Solving, Effective Oral and Written Communications, Creativity, ICT Savviness, Initiative and Entrepreneurship, Agility and Adaptability.

We believe every child has a bright future if properly and carefully guided. That is why at Thames Valley College, we turn every child to a star that keeps shining. We warmly welcome you to visit our school and discover firsthand what makes Thames Valley College education so special.

For enquiry, kindly visit our website on www.thamesvalleycollege.org or

call Fatimat: 0818-847-4249 or Ronke: 0814-636-9297

Learn Pantosaurus’ Five Easy Rules For Staying Safe

Privates are Private

Your underwear covers up your private parts and no one should ask to see or touch them. Sometimes a doctor, nurse or family members might have to. But they should always explain why, and ask you if it’s okay first. Remember, what’s in your pants belong only to you.

Always Remember Your Body Belongs To You

No one should ever make you do things that make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. If someone asks to see or tries to touch you underneath your underwear say ‘NO’- and tell someone you trust and like to speak to.

No Means No

You always have the right to say ‘no’ – even to a family member or someone you love. You’re in control of your body and the most important thing is how YOU feel. If you want to say ‘NO’, it’s your choice.

Talk About Secrets That Upset You

There are good secrets and bad secrets. If a secret makes you feel sad or worried, it’s bad – and you should tell an adult you trust about it straight away.

Speak Up, Someone Can Help

It’s always good to talk about stuff that makes you upset. If you’re worried, go and tell a grown up you trust – like a family member, teacher or one of your friend’s  parents. They’ll say well done for speaking out and help make everything ok. You can also call on 08001111 and someone will always be there to listen.

Remember all of these rules and they’ll help you stay safe, just like Pantosaurus.

The Innocence of A Child - Protect It

Just last term, a school staff noticed a girl of about age 9 entering the visitor’s toilet in the school after school hours. Shortly afterwards, her driver went in with her. They both came out much later. She said it didn’t occur to her that something fishy was going on till they came out looking uneasy. She regretted not investigating when the driver went in after the girl did. This is why we always call for perpetual vigilance by all child handlers.

Grandfathers also abuse their grandchildren, yes! Grandfathers! On the outskirts of Lagos, a grandfather was caught on top of his granddaughter in an incidence that shocked family and neighbours.

Biological Fathers and step-fathers too abuse their daughters, and the most appalling, some mothers know their husbands are molesting their daughters, yet they turn a blind eye because they don’t want to break their marriage.

They also claim it’s because they are not financially independent.

On a radio station recently, a girl called in that her dad was abusing her and before she could say another sentence, we heard her yell out ‘daaaaddddy’ and the phone went off.

Obviously, the dad had yanked the phone off her!

Another heart-wrenching case of a woman, a PhD holder who lost her 5 year old child to gonorrhea a few years ago, is still fresh in my memory. Her husband, had been molesting their two biological daughters; the 5 year old and a 13 year old. It was when they developed the symptoms that she found out that he had been molesting them for a while. She got him arrested but the next day, he was released by the police!

Mothers too abuse their sons. However, cases like this are quite few. In an African country recently, a single mother made her teen daughter watch her having sex with her boyfriend.

‘Lesson’ teachers (private tutors) molest children at home as well. Even teachers abuse children right there in the school premises too.

A teacher took a girl to the sick bay (imagine a sick bay without a nurse) and fondled her there. Even though she felt powerless to stop him, the girl got home and told her mother who went to her school the next day to report. To the chagrin of the mother, the management tried to water down the whole incidence and it caused a lot of rumpus in the school. The teacher was sacked eventually. Where is that teacher now? Your guess is as good as mine…in another school!

In a public school in Lagos, a male teacher would playfully touch the boys penis in the toilet and eventually masturbate them when they become aroused. Then, he would gather their semen with a clean white handkerchief which he would take away with him. He wasn’t discovered till one of the victims reported to his parents.

Parents also keep pornographic materials at home; the children stumble on them and begin to practice what they watch on each other. Sometimes, they watch such films at the neighbours’ and other places they go for sleepovers.

There is also peer sexual abuse , which can be heterosexual or homosexual in nature. Because their sexual appetite has been stirred too early, those who have been abused, boys particularly, get very adventurous and do what they have experienced with other children as little as age 2.

Just last year, two 7 year old girls were caught kissing in the toilet in their (private) school. In yet another school, a boy and girl in primary three were caught wriggling on top of each other at the back of the school bus.

The most common form of peer abuse is the sibling-abuse which takes place between brothers and sisters, between brothers and brothers and between sisters and sisters. This is one type of abuse you should watch out for because it is so common! Many adult female survivors of child sexual abuse report that they were deflowered by their brothers or were in incestuous relations with their cousins.

Shop-attendants and ‘Mallams’ selling biscuits and other groceries in their ‘convenience kiosks’ have also made headlines for abusing children.

One ‘mallam,’ abused several children in the same house that borders his shop. He would defile them after giving them sweets and then wipe their vagina with cotton wool, which he kept meticulously in a polythene bag. Your guess is as good as mine! What did he do with those cotton wools? Until he was caught, he was having a field day molesting those children.

To the surprise of the NGO which took up the case, other residents were ready to bail the ‘mallam’ out because according to them, ‘he is the one to protect us from Boko Haram when they storm Lagos.’

Landlords who are usually old retirees, usually sedentary and mostly indoors have also been caught molesting children of their tenants.
Strangers also abuse children. A young woman said when she was age eight she was abused by a bricklayer when she went with her parents to inspect the house they were building. Her parents were on the ground floor while the assault took place on the 2nd floor. He grabbed her and fondled her private part. It was the first time she would be meeting the man and she just didn’t know what to do.

For another young lady, it was a public bus driver who pulled at her breasts when she was about to alight from his public bus on her way to school.

For the head teacher of a primary school, it was her family doctor who abused her when she went for malaria treatment at his hospital when she was eleven years old. This doctor told the mum on the first visit to the hospital that she should send her back for check up the next day when they visited the hospital initially. So, the next day, she went alone because the mum couldn’t go with her, and then he fondled her all over.

Children in orphanages, remand homes, home for the physically and mentally challenged also experience sexual abuse perpetrated by some staff of these institutions.

As you can see, the abuser can be anyone, absolutely ANYONE! Be vigilant, empower the child to say NO to a ’bad touch’

April Is Child abuse awareness month, let's break the silence, Let every victim know that he's not alone, Help us share.

Defining Quality Education

Finland is ranked No.1 in the world in Education. What’s so great there!

• A child goes to school there only at the age of 7. The torture does not start at 2 ½ as it is elsewhere.
• A child learns from each move that it comes across in this early age at home.
• From the age of 7 to 10 the child spends 50% of it’s time in school and the remaining as vacation.
• The school timings are also less and equal importance is given to Music, Arts and Sports too
• The schools there have relaxation rooms for the children to take rest if they feel tired.
• Until the age of 13 there is no grading and no report cards for students.
• If their parents are inquisitive of the child’s progress they can apply to know that.
• Since there is no grading there is no pressure on the student to compete.
• They are not given homework. Students can do their homework in the subject of their choice.
• A doctor stationed in each school monitors their health and advices.
• Only a maximum of 600 students are permitted in a school.
• There aren’t any private schools. All are Govt. run. There is equality in education for all.
• 99% of children in Finland get primary education.
• Students who hail from a country where there aren’t exams excel in competitive exams elsewhere.
• You may wonder how this is possible. A UN research explains this…..
• UN does an annual research about the happiest children in the world. Finland stands first.
• Educationists from other countries flock to Finland to understand their system more.
• 1500 representatives from 56 countries go there every year.
• The country’s major foreign exchange comes from education tourism.
• A teachers job in Finland is highly valued .
• The teachers there have a major stake in the laws and policies of the country.
• Every third child there wants to become a teacher. But it’s not so easy.
• Only students who excel are considered for this post.
• They are given 5 years of Teacher Training, 6 months of Military training, One year of onsite teacher training, Training in the Laws and Policies, Fire service, Self Defense, First Aid.
No wonder the Crime rate is so low in Finland.
Good upbringing breeds responsible Adults.

Thoughts to ponder:
• Don’t find fault in children. Don’t hesitate to appreciate when they do good.
• No one knows what a child can become. Keep encouraging them.
• Edison was considered dumb and thrown out of school.
• Louis Pasteur was an average student in school.
• Einstein was considered an idiot in school.
• Talk to children daily about their goodness.
• Don’t compare a child with another.
• Talk about successful people to them.
• Instead of telling them how not to be, just tell them about how to be.
• Don’t curb them to the house
• Give them good examples and independence.
• If you talk to them about a bed of flower they’ll understand the path of thorns.
• Tell them about hard work. They will get to know about laziness.
• When you tell them about successful people they will understand the reasons for failure.
And for all these, we need good parenting and good governance.
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Keep Your Child on the Straight and Narrow.

As parents the reality is that sooner than expected, our children will be travelling alone, sleeping alone in a room in a different state or country, be with different people we don't know or might never know. They will have to make decisions alone without our input and guidance, decisions that might make or mar them for life.

The days are drawing closer; the days we won't see or hear from them for days sometimes weeks, the days of their seeming independence from our influence and space.

This knowledge is enough to give parents the creeps. Why? ‘Cos we wonder deep in our hearts if our children are ready and can actually withstand the evils and deceits of this world. Can they really make the right decisions in deciphering a good friend from a Judas, and also not end up being a Judas themselves.

Do they have the intuition to make the very important decisions in choosing the right spouse?

Can they draw boundaries between an exciting, fine person and a godly person?

Would they be able to make that business decision, take that investment step? We wonder.

Now, it is certain these decisions would be taken with or without our consent and we need to come to terms with knowing that our children would love to prove themselves and show us that they have come of age.

Yes, we need to encourage them by giving them the opportunity and space to express themselves, the question is, are we doing this early enough or doing this late?

Some parents already allow their children to exercise their rights, they stopped pampering them and doing everything for them, at a certain age. They educate them on the consequences of their actions and also taking responsibility for their actions, and that "Sorry" can't fix everything, and that one might have to pay a big price for ones actions/inactions.

Some parents do this not because they are hard but because they know that eventually the day of reckoning will come and they try to put things right so they start early and plant the seed of wisdom in their children. 

We must be willing to allow our children make and learn from their mistakes, this will give us the opportunity to address it and correct them accordingly. We should let them know what they can or cannot have now and why and when they can or can’t have it. We should teach them that life is not a bed of roses and everyday isn't Christmas. 

We need to educate them on the value of time. Teaching them that there is time for play and time for work, time to sleep and time to be awake, time for leisure and time to labour, this is the reality of life many of us did not have the privileged of knowing, this time waits for no one.

We must teach them wisdom and restraint in all they do, teach them to respect others, to be compassionate, being contented and not complacent, teach them to develop a great self esteem, not to be proud and most especially teach them discernment.

Doing all we need to do as parents is actually preparing them for independence, when they will eventually take on life alone.

According to scriptures, when we do a good job, training up a child in the way he/she should go, when they grow they will not depart from it, we will be rewarded with peace of mind and happiness in our grey days.

Don't take up huge loans to throw lavish birthday parties if you can't afford them (if you can its ok). Instead do something small, if they ask why, take the opportunity to teach them contentment, delayed gratification and investment. 

We have loads of experience about life; we should invest this experience in them. We know students who used cars on campus and the ones who drank garri for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Today some of those garri drinkers are employers, while the car owning students are the employees. We saw students doing crazy things, belittling themselves, some ruined their future just to impress others on campus, trying to boost their self image, and by making others feel lower than them.

Things that matter to you today might have no significance tomorrow. Let's instill in our children great self esteem and wisdom to know what to do per season with their time and resources. 

We shouldn't just roll over and allow everything they demand or ask for. If they can have it and their intents is ok, fine, if not say No! And give them the reason why?

If they want a gadget, like say a laptop or phone, if you can afford it and want to, give rules of engaging the gadgets, like setting passwords for certain sites and programmes, which apps to download or games to play. In as much as we want to give them a freehand, we as the parents have the responsibility in making sure they don't fall prey to the vise of porn sites, demonic games and the likes. 

Giving independence doesn't mean a lapse of responsibility on our part as parents, everything that must stand comes with boundaries and red lines, even freedom. 

As parents teaching our children to distinguish between their short-term happiness, endurance and their long-term good is our uttermost priority because this is how they get the skill to make decisions, which ultimately shape their lives.

This is how the heavenly father guides and directs us through our journey in life: Holiness first, then after all other things will be added. There are principles to everything in life: everything that must work well, there are no short cuts.

The adage says, ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’.

Sparing the rod is not taking the time to teach, nurture and tutor children in the ways of wisdom, understanding and knowledge that will equip them for their race in life. The rod here is our own input in impacting knowledge and wisdom. Children will always make mistakes; oftentimes their thinking and foresight are myopic.

The Rod here is our guidance and counseling, not necessarily physical punishment. 

Lessons learnt in childhood will definitely last a lifetime and when/if they get into trouble and we are far away or gone, they can draw from the wealth of experience we have impacted or shared with them.

Let’s keep our children from making the same mistakes we made.

How to Teach Good Manners to Your Children

TIPS OF A BISHOP TO ALL PARENTS.

How to teach good manners to your children:

1. On entering your home, greet your children by embracing them. This should contribute to develop their sense of love and mercy.

2. Be good to your neighbors and never be unfaithful. Do not ever hurt other drivers while driving. Your children listen, absorb and imitate.

3. When you call your parents, encourage your children to talk to them. Similarly, when you visit your parents, take your children with you, the more they see you taking care of your parents, the more they will learn to take care of you.

4. When you take them by car, for example to school, do not always put albums or CD's (even though they are good CDs!) But tell them rather stories about yourself. This will have a much greater impact, believe me!

5. Read them one Bible verse a day especially the Psalms of David and the Proverbs of King Solomon. It does not take much time, but it has a very important effect on building strong bonds and their knowledge of God as well as wonderful memories.

6. Hold your head, brush your teeth and wear presentable clothes, even if you stay at home and do not get out of the day; They need to learn that staying clean and well prepared has nothing to do with going outside!

7. Try not to blame them for every word or action they say or do. Learn to skip and drop a few times. This builds their self-confidence.

8. Ask your children for permission before entering their room. Do not just hit and enter but wait for them to verbally give you permission first. They will learn to do the same before entering your room.

9. Apologize to your children if you have made a mistake. Asking for forgiveness teaches them to be humble and polite.

10. Do not be sarcastic and do not laugh at their opinions and feelings, even though "that's not what you meant" and "it was just a joke." It really hurts.

11. Respect the privacy of your children. This is important for their self-esteem.

12. Do not expect them to listen or learn the first time. Do not take it personally. Be patient and constant.

13. Play with them. Let them enjoy and enjoy your company. They will remember all this by growing up.

14. Be firm. If they need to be reprimanded do not hesitate in this direction. Correct their errors right away. Never say "oh, it's only a child" or "he will learn by growing up". No! Now is the time to learn. If they do not learn now, they will never learn.

15. Teach them to be patient and grateful. Do not give them everything they ask. Stick to your limits. Refuse certain things even if you have the ability to give to them. And teach them to say "thank you". Tell them to thank God for everything.

16. Finally, always pray for them from the depths of your heart.
Your prayers can be highly effective. The invocations of the parents are among those whose answer is answered.

No prayer can be as powerful as that of parents for their children.


May God grant us the ability to raise our children through the best behavior.
Be blessed!